Of New Beginnings

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Christmas approached, skulking around dubiously then receded like I’d never experienced before. I was happy to see it go. I was thrilled to see 2016 end, and welcomed 2017 with open arms. There were a few factors involved, but one of them was the election result….

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A Letter to the Gay-Loving Trump Voter

So, you voted for Trump. And you claim to love someone who is gay. Well, here’s why you may not be hearing from them as much. You see, your vote for Trump really says this to a gay person: “You’re less than I am. I deserve more rights than you. You are a sick aberration…

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Home Is Where the Dead Hookers Are

  My house never feels more like a home than when it’s brimming with people I love. Recently, my A-List (Retta, Kathy, Alan and Tina) had the opportunity to get together–for the first time in five years! And it was magical (as usual). I’ve written about this beloved motley crew before.They are–each one of them…

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The Birthday Tradition

I always approach the Creticos Cancer Center with great reverence. For all the caring work that is done there by the nurses and staff. And all the courage shown by the patients who are treated there, as well as their families. Though it’s now housed in a brand new state-of-the-art building across the hospital campus…

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Connecting Purpose to Loss

Why was I crying as I walked down the street, carrying a salad I’d picked up for lunch? No, not because I’m a moosh bag who sobs to any decently scored coffee commercial around the holidays. (Well, not only for that reason.) I was moved. A little closer to where I’m supposed to be. And I felt it…

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Called On Account of Rain

As I’ve written before, I love to go camping—partly for its own sake but partly (probably mostly) because it was something Ken introduced me to. I’m not a deep woods camper, but a give me a beautiful state park and some friends, and I’ll pack up all my camping gear and head out. In spite…

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Ten Years or a Blink?

As soon as the calendar turns to January, June 1 has traditionally been a magnet for my attention and emotion since it became the day Ken died in 2011. But this year May 1 leapt out at me. And I was surprised to realize that May 1 marks ten years since Ken and I moved…

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5 Years of “The Xanax Diary”

It seems like I’ve always had this blog; that it has always been here to engage me and calm me and focus me and distract me. But I haven’t. I’ve always written for those reasons, but it wasn’t until 2010 when I started doing so in this blog. To think about it now, my life is…

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The Club No One Wants to Belong To

I’m lucky in that I only go downtown to work in my company’s office once or twice a week—or sometimes not at all. I’ve worked from home for the better portion of the last ten years. (I can’t really imagine working any other way!) Though I sometimes bluster about going into the office, it is…

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On Ken's 50th Birthday

I’ve felt the pull of this day for a couple of weeks. Uneasiness and my social impotence returned, leaving me tired and usually in the desire of no one’s company. For someone as far down the path of grief as I consider myself, I’m more than a little surprised when I find an impending Ken-related milestone still…

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